A Clook Internet Football XI

Off Topic/ 13th Jan 2017/Jamie Hoyles

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Working in an IT environment it’s not too surprising that the majority of the guys here aren’t too interested in ‘Sportsball’(!) Regardless, they’ve made it into the Clook Internet starting line up…

Goalkeeper: Arran Short
Hailing from rival town Blackpool, thankfully Arran’s signing a year ago was met with approval by the fans and he has proved himself a mainstay of the team ever since. Using skills picked up from his rollerblading days he is very much a modern day sweeper keeper.

Right Back: Chris Yates
Just like his racing cars, Chris has seen better days. We’ve found Chris’s best position to be right back where little movement is required and close to the bench where he can call into the physio for running repairs. Again, very similar to the cars he goes racing in.

Centre Back: Si Pendlebury
Our colossal centre half, there’s no going past Si Pendlebury. Mean but fair. Members of the tech support team will not want to let Si down with stray passes or loose balls with him being their manager or disiplinaries may follow.

Centre Back: Ben Heaslewood
A great match with Si, this shaven headed, destructive individual will strike fear into any opposition player. Prone to being vocal and loud should a situation not be to his liking…

Left Back: Carl Goodwin-Morgan
With very little interest in football left back is the obvious choice of position for Carl. Close to being left back in the changing room… Carl’s strength is auditing so we’ll be hoping that he can provide an in depth assessment of our opposition’s strengths and weaknesses.

Centre Midfield Eric Barr
Eric is our American import. Eric’s version of football is slightly different to ours (he has a tendency to pick the ball up and attempt to throw it to his teammates or carry it towards goal). Due to this we have converted this Quarterback into a holding midfielder where he can still pick a pass or two.

Centre Midfield: John Rushe
Unfortunately John’s knees have gone. The days of running up and down the right wing are sadly behind him and he has now been brought inside as a deep lying centre midfielder. A player in the Paul Scholes mould, John is known for spraying balls across the park and popping up with the odd spectacular goal.
He also doubles up as the side’s tea lady/man.

Right Wing: Sam Pizzey
Every team should have a winger with long flowing hair and Sam has this in abundance. A man with flair, he can often be seen coming into training on two wheels.

Left Wing: Dan Miller
The side’s prima donna and renowned for tweeting opposition players after the game if he feels decisions have gone against him. Despite this, Dan adds to the side by being a utility man able to lend his skills to many different positions within Clook FC.

Centre Forward: Jamie Hoyles
Formerly a Goalkeeper, representing highly esteemed sides such as Corpus Christi High School, Fulwood Colts & Longridge Town, Jamie has been moved upfield due to being one of only a few players to be able to kick a ball in a straight line. A prolific scorer on Fifa 17, he will be looking to replicate his online form to the football field.

Centre Forward: Will Cook-Martin
A fairly recent signing Will has been making his mark at the club. Able to sell a defender with a quick turn of pace he will be looking to convert as many chances as possible into goals.

Head Coach: Chris James
Unfortunately, just like his favourite football team Liverpool, the Clook FC XI have been also-rans for many many years. Chris will be looking to motivate the majority of the side who would rather be sat in front of a computer than on the pitch. Plans to instil Jurgen Klopp’s ‘Gegenpressing’ style of play have been met with dismay by all.

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If you have an accounts query it is likely Jamie will be the one to help you resolve it...! Away from the office he is a condemned supporter of Blackburn Rovers, enjoys watching and playing cricket and appreciates a good meal out.
We have a very strong team here at Clook and we build on everyone's strengths and weaknesses, you have to be able to make a good brew too!

Chris James

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